Outside, snowflakes the size of footballs fall. They pile up quickly. At least four feet has fallen already and the dark, cloudy, billowing skies show no signs of respite. Eddie, the cart boy, tells us he spotted some polar bears in the parking lot. They were making love to SUVs. The radio reports that an emergency meeting of the House of Representatives to discuss possible evacuation procedures had quickly devolved into a massive orgy/battle royale. The vote is split evenly along party lines. There is no help coming.

Well, it snowed again. And if you live on the East Coast — or probably anywhere, I’m guessing — you know what that means. Gross exaggeration on the part of the media and even grosser overreaction by everyone else. It’s just snow, people. It happens every year.

Still, a snow day is a snow day, and no one is complaining about that. So in the spirit of sleeping in and not being productive at all, let’s all take another look at Danger_Slater’s “Snowpocalypse.” It’s guaranteed to make you even less inclined to go outside today.