We are seven today, but we must be precocious, based on the frequency with which people inquire, “What are you, twelve?”
And even though it’s our birthday, we have presents for you: a supernatural fishy tale, an absolutely true Hollywood story, a surreal case of sartorial revenge, and―because we love you―a hilarious attempt at canine exorcism. Plus, this month’s cover art punches tired gender norms in the spleen.
So happy birthday to us. And for the record, while we do not live in a zoo, we welcome comparisons to a monkey on both the visual and olfactory levels.
You know how sometimes you get up for a glass of water in the middle of the night and catch a glimpse of yourself in the bathroom mirror in the dim blue glow of the nightlight and realize you are looking at an alternate universe where everything is almost, but not quite, the same as it is in our world?