In case you were wondering: Earl Grey with lemon. And leave the pot; it’s been a long day.

We love March. Probably because, as a certain disappearing tabby once observed, we’re all mad here. In that spirit, we’ve invited an eclectic group of guests to our little tea party this month. Our fifty-second issue opens with “Little Monster,” a tale of slow burning from Aida Ibisevic that will give you chills. Next up is Vajra Chandrasekera’s “By Good Angels Tenanted,” a story of two unusual sets of genitals—each terrifying in its own way—and the people who live with them. [Insert “teabagging” joke here.] Then the fun just keeps on keepin’ on with Christopher Cassavella’s amusing metafiction narrative, “Joe’s Theory.” That one is followed by “The Memory Thief,” a bittersweet zombie flash-fiction piece from Brianna Gielow. Lastly, William Blomstedt introduces you to the roommates you never knew you wanted in “The Scuttlebutt on Pluto.” And make sure you pause to admire “Revenge,” the creepy (but very classy) cover art by Betsy Streeter.

So if you’ve been bummed out lately by all this lousy Smarch weather, pull up a chair and hang with us for a while—there’s plenty of unbirthday cake to go around. If you forgot to bring a hat, you can borrow one of ours. And don’t mind the dormouse; he always sleeps in there.

Read it online or download the .pdf.

The stories in this issue are by turns surreal, scary, funny, sad, puzzling, and sweet—just like love.

In “Raritan, New Jersey. 2012,” Jason Macias takes us galloping through equine dreams. Suzanne Samples introduces us to some mysterious (and slightly creepy) “Things That Float.” Next up is a thoughtful and intriguing flash piece by Daniel Thompson, “My Horns Hurt.” Charlie Brown’s narrator gets “A Bad Case” of a surprisingly lively and entertaining venereal disease. Robert Lowell Russell’s “Path of Stones” examines a well-known fairy tale from the perspective of a marginalized character who must weave through many stories before finishing his own. And when you think about it, isn’t that what we all have to do?

Read the full issue online or download the PDF. And don’t forget to check out the creepy yet adorable cover art by Daniel Langhans.

Now all we need is a gi-fuckin’-normous bowl of cocktail sauce. (Also, major props if you know and love this movie.)

Stories and poems have been pouring in for our Legendary Creatures issue, which is great. Keep ’em coming! Check out the full guidelines and submit.

We would love to see more submissions featuring ANIMALS rather than human or human-like beings. We’d also like to see more contemporary and local creatures of legend—a story about the Mutant Rat Monsters that live in your hometown garbage dump, or a poem about a giant squid who falls in love with a pirate. Also, we’re crazy about haiku! Especially when they follow Michael Dylan Welch’s list of tips for writing haiku from Haiku World (although you can substitute imagination for personal experience in this case).

Also, JDP’s founder and our friend Eirik still needs those lungs. Please help if you can, and thanks so much to those of you who are already spreading the word and/or making a contribution.