Well this is it, eh?

As we all know, 2012 is the year when the Mayan calendar runs out of stone pages, the aliens from The X-Files commence colonization, and all kinds of other awful shit happens.

So enjoy your final New Year’s Eve. Next time this year there’s a good chance the planet will have been obliterated, the Black Oil will be dripping from your eyes, or something similarly unpleasant will be happening to any of us unfortunate enough to still be alive.

5,000 year-old prophecies are never wrong folks. But even in the unlikely event that this isn’t the last New Year’s Eve in recorded history, you’d be hard-pressed to find a better way to spend it than by reading Laura Garrison’s “The Long Happy New Year of Dora Wellington.”

Ah, Christmas morning. At best, twenty minutes of frenzied present-opening after weeks of hellish shopping and sundry preparations. Oh and you’ll be paying for it for months, if not years.

It’s like the holiday equivalent of a really ill-advised hook up.

On the bright side, if you didn’t get what you wanted from Santa or if the old guy didn’t even show up at your house last night, we’ve got you covered. Our own Sam Snoek-Brown has a plan to resurrect the bones of a fourth-century saint to ensure that no child is ever again disappointed on Christmas morning.

And that’s the JDP difference.

Enjoy the day and check out “The Resurrection of Old Saint Nick.”

One of the many reasons I miss my Dad this time of year is because he always made it a point to find out when It’s a Wonderful Life was airing on TV.

And then deliberately not watch it.

In that same spirit, I present the story that I’m sure future generations will look back on as JDP’s definitive Christmas classic: Danger_Slater’s “Mall Satan.”

Share it with someone you love.