July Issue Redux

"TextureX" by Coyle Parker

Fair warning, the July Issue covers some rough ground.

Asking your stepfather to behead a prophet because you’re bored? Check.

Self-mutilation in pursuit of your art? We’ve got that.

Meeting your future wife by discovering her father’s corpse? Uh-huh.

A blind woman doing something seriously unpleasant with a hot melon scoop? Unfortunately.

Honestly, when the nicest story concerns two guys beating the crap out of each other with oboes, you know you’re in for a dark ride.

And that’s before we even get to Aaron Frigard’s contribution, which probably warrants its own black box warning.

So brace yourself, this one isn’t for the faint of heart. But we think you can handle it. After all, you’re a dedicated JDP reader and that means your middle name is practically “highly inappropriate.”

(Or Robert. Maybe Beatrice. Very possibly Tiberius )

Anyway, enjoy Issue 32 of Jersey Devil Press.

Text a friend before and after reading just so they know you’re alright.

Sandy…It’s the July Issue

Asbury Park, Fourth of July (well, technically the Third)

Wait…what’s that?

Is it the guy across the street setting off the fireworks he brought back the last time he visited his cousins in North Carolina? And…and did that last Roman Candle set his hedge partially on fire?

And…and…down the block? Is that guy listening to that old Maxell tape of the ’88 KROQ Springsteen show from Stockholm? While he dumps Kingsford briquets into the Weber Smoky Joe?

Hmmm…

And, next door? Is that your other neighbor so drunk he’s delivering Bill Pullman’s Independence Day speech word-for-word from his back deck? And did he just nail the “right to exist” part?

Wait a second!?

There’s humidity so thick you can actually taste it…and…and…there! The Aurora’s rising behind us!

Do you know what that means people??!

Could it possibly be?!?!

We're probably too small for Bruce to sue.

YES!!!

It’s Fourth of July in Jersey!!!!

So crack open the latest issue of the ass-shaking, love-making, Spice-freighting, Slave-Leia-ing, light-sabering, LEGENDARY J-D-P MAGAZINE!

J-D-P MAGAZINE!

July Issue Online Here!

PDF Here!

Our Kickstarter Is Funded!

Yub nub, eee chop yub nub
Ah toe meet toe peechee keene
G&#039noop dock fling oh ah.

Break out the Ewok celebratory song – our Kickstarter has officially been funded and then some.

There’s still more than a week left to go but we wanted to take a moment to express our gratitude for helping us raise the cash to publish and promote two books we are uncontrollably excited about: Eirik Gumeny’s Exponential Apocalypse: Dead Presidents and Ryan Werner’s short story collection, Shake Away These Constant Days. Seriously, thanks to everyone who backed this – especially, you know, if you’re someone one of us doesn’t call, “Mom.”

Of course, you can always give us more money if you’re so inclined over the next ten days, but we won’t push it. We’ll just gently remind you that there are a few options that function as pre-orders for Ryan and Eirik’s books, so there’s still a chance to do that and get some extra swag on top. Also, if we raise a lot of extra cash we might be able to publish a third book this winter. (Just sayin’.)

And that’s that.

Let’s talk about free stuff. No, not our monthly magazine (though you should really read that too), but the short stories Eirik Gumeny is posting over at his blog that bridge the gap between his first novel, Exponential Apocalypse, and the forthcoming sequel. He’ll be posting one a week until EA: Dead Presidents is released on July 31st. It’s like his version of those webisodes the SyFy Channel posted during the ridiculously long breaks in-between Battlestar Galactica seasons. Only cooler.

Next, move on to Ryan Werner’s new blog, unironically titled Ryan Werner Writes Stuff. It’s a very cool site where you can catch up on all the latest information on Shake Away These Constant Days, read Ryan’s thoughts on the writing process, see unnerving photos of him in a dress, and possibly be directed to soft-core porn links for ginger fetishists. And at least some of that is really worthwhile.

We’re hoping to have a preview of the cover art for Ryan’s book soon, but in the meantime, feast your eyes on the dinoriffic cover to Exponential Apocalypse: Dead Presidents. We guarantee it has 100% more velociraptor than any other indie press book on the market.

Speaking of covers (because we love segues) our Production Editor, Sam Snoek-Brown recently posted a call for artists who want to make the cover of JDP look extra special. If you’re an illustrator, check it out and see if you’ve got what it takes to front one of our monthly issues. And if you’re not an artist, read it anyway for Sam’s excellent attempt to summarize JDP’s influences in a single paragraph. In general, his Beginner’s Mind Blog is a solid read about writing, life, the universe, and everything.

So, thanks again to everyone who backed the Kickstarter, you’ve briefly restored our tenuous faith in humanity. And, if you weren’t able to help us out with cash, we always appreciate moral support too. Follow us on Twitter. It’s free and new followers make us inordinately happy.