Seven Nights to Rock

Posted on September 17, 2012 by Mike

“Ryan Werner’s debut marks the arrival of an important new voice: quirky, world-wise, and as joyfully rambunctious as your favorite punk rock song. Listen up. You’ll be glad you did.” — Tom Cooper, author of Phantasmagoria and Barataria

Available September 25th

Shake Away These Constant Days is only a week away and you’re probably asking yourself what you can do to prepare. Aside from the obvious — practicing your wrestling moves and breaking out the KISS make-up — we put together the following list to help you help us make Ryan Werner’s book the biggest thing to hit Amazon next Tuesday.

(Aside, um, from The Avengers DVD/BluRay release. But, hey, we’ll gladly take second place to a movie that made $1.5 billion.)

1. Go read the online excerpt we’ve posted with the first four stories from this great collection.

2. Check out the fantastic review Shake Away These Constant Days received from Curbside Splendor.

3. Enjoy “Murmuration” from our May Issue. Yeah, it’s not in the collection but it’s damn good story and pretty illustrative of what an amazing writer Ryan is.

4. Visit Ryan’s blog for seriously interesting insights into the background behind each of the thirty stories in Shake Away These Constant Days.

5. Pre-order your copy. We probably won’t run out, but you never know. Plus, having Ryan’s book first allows you to taunt the other people in the coffee shop about how much cooler you are than them.

6. Be a digital reviewer. We’re still looking for more people to read and review this collection, so if you’re a blogger or otherwise involved in the indie lit scene drop us a line and we’ll send you a digital review copy.

7. Follow Ryan on Twitter and help him antagonize Danzig.

GUMENYMANIA continues

Posted on September 15, 2012 by Mike

They say you shouldn’t belabor a point, but we will: Eirik Gumeny’s new sequel to Exponential Apocalypse kinda kicks ass and you should buy it. (Especially, since it’s only like three bucks on Kindle.)

And that’s not the only Gumenyism crackling over the Whispernet. Ever wonder what would happen if a down-on-his-luck Jesus met up with the devil in Jersey? Question answered in Eirik’s new novelette, Devil Went Down to Jersey.

(As I’ve said before, if you enjoyed Dogma, I think you’ll really dig this one. But if you’re one of those people who protested the film outside a multiplex, you might want to skip it.)

But there’s absolutely no reason — ecumenical or otherwise — not to pick up We’re Going to Die Here Aren’t We? It’s a collection of Eirik’s finest tales from places like Monkeybicycle, Thieves Jargon, Red Fez, and, of course, Jersey Devil Press. There’s at least one Pushcart nominee in the batch, as well as my personal favorite story by Eirik, “Bagel.”

So get on it already? Both e-books are free…oh, wait. I’m sorry; they’re not free. That’s right. The giveaway ended on Friday night. Shit. How much do they cost now? What?! 99 cents!! Are you frakkin’ kidding me?! That’s less than the price of a stamp! (Right?)

So for five bucks (or like one-eightieth the price of an upper-deck ticket to an NFL game) you can can get the novelette, a great collection of short stories, and the amaze-ball novel, Exponential Apocalypse: Dead Presidents.

(And, just to be clear, you really don’t need an actual Kindle. Amazon will download the software to your computer and you can read the stuff there. That’s how I do it because I’m technologically backward in addition to being wildly off base about postal rates.)

Or course, if you want to surprise your sweetie with an actual hard copy of EA2, we’ve got you covered too. Nothing looks better under the tree than a rampaging dinosaur.

So get with the GUMENYMANIA!

Because You Can’t Copyright a Norse God!

Posted on September 13, 2012 by Mike

Eirik Gumeny, JDP Founder and damn handsome young man, reads from his epic sequel, Exponential Apocalypse: Dead Presidents, at Rebel Donut in Albuquerque.

“If The Avengers was written by Terry Pratchett and directed by Kevin Smith, you might end up in the same dimension as Exponential Apocalypse: Dead Presidents. Or not. Eirik Gumeny’s sequel to Exponential Apocalypse is a weird, wild ride through post-post apocalyptic America. And it’s dead funny.” — Kat Clay, Radiant Attack

Thor’s back people. And so is Timmy the Super-squirrel. And Queen Victoria XXX. And Chester A. Arthur XVII. And all your other beloved favorites from the post-post-post Apocalyptic cult classic, Exponential Apocalypse.

And this time they mean serious business (like people do in all sequels).

Mad scientists! Clones! Dinosaurs! And…Rhinos with lasers!

Eirik Gumeny has done it again and we want you to witness it for posterity’s sake. So buy his new book, dammit, before all the other cool book-buying people do and make you feel left behind and inadequate.

Exponential Apocalypse: Dead Presidents is available now for your reading pleasure! Download to your Kindle for like three bucks! That’s three less-than-a-cup-of-foo-foo-nice-coffee bucks! Three frakkin’ bucks for hours of entertainment?! It’s like an economic paradox of hilarity and we’re not even sure what that means!

Or go crazy, ya spendthrift, and buy a hard copy so you can enjoy it while building your spatial understanding skills!

Rhinos. With. Lasers. Go. Now.

But wait!

If that’s not enough Eirik Gumeny for you, check out the two free e-books he’s offering for Kindle.

Like a side of blasphemy with your silliness? Then enjoy the wonderful little novelette, The Devil Went Down to Jersey.

Prefer more conventional short stories? Well, Eirik doesn’t do conventional, but he does have this amazing collection of some of his finest tales, including pieces from the pages of Monkeybicycle, Red Fez, and Thieves Jargon. Check out We’re Going to Die Here Aren’t We? You won’t be disappointed.

Both of these e-books are free* — as in less than anything. So pick ’em up because these prices are so low, he’s literally giving them all away!

(*Until like midnight on Friday. So hurry.)