You will be . . . you will be.

There’s no denying the world can be a scary-ass place. Earthquakes, tornadoes, serial killers, mimes, the impending zombie apocalypse, existential angst, Spongebob-fuckin’-Squarepants—the list goes on and on. So this month, we’ve assembled a team of superheroes to kick-punch your greatest fears right in their cold, cold hearts:

Tropophobia (fear of change): “The Many Incarnations of Blazer Chief,” Elise Matthews – POW!

Ablutophobia (fear of washing): “How to Wash a Magic Carpet,” Lauren O’Donnell – SPLOOSH!

Arachnophobia (fear of spiders): “With Spider,” Kelly Magee and Carol Guess – BAM!

Thanatophobia (fear of death): “Relics,” Valya Dudycz Lupescu – ZORK!

Teratophobia (fear of abnormality): “The Dog with the Rhinestone Eyes,” Mary Renzi – BORT!

We’re tremongously excited to introduce a couple of brand-new voices alongside some seasoned pros (whom we’re also thrilled to include, natch). I guess what we’re trying to say is that it is a truth universally acknowledged that any writer whose story appears in this issue must be in possession of some mad skillz.

This month’s delightful cover art is by Morgan Carver; it tackles siderodromophobia (fear of riding on trains) – TOOT!

Read it online or download the PDF.