Extinction is for Chumps

extinction is for chumps

Available in Strawberry and Grape Flavors

It’s here! It’s finally here! Exponential Apocalypse: Dead Presidents, by Eirik Gumeny, is finally available to purchase and read and cherish forever!

For those of you not in the know: Exponential Apocalypse: Dead Presidents, the second book in the Exponential Apocalypse series, continues where the first one left off, following Thor and company through a world rife with megalomanical clones, dinosaur armies, zombies, mad scientists, rhinos with lasers, and all manner of action and misadventure. Uproarious and unrestrained, Exponential Apocalypse: Dead Presidents puts the “doody” in doomsday and the “ha” in worldwide annihilation.

You can buy a paperback or a Kindle copy or some other e-copy or, for a limited time, get a paperback signed by Eirik himself! Who wouldn’t want his indecipherable scrawl scarring the first page of their book? No one, that’s who. Besides, he’ll probably throw in a bunch of magnets, too. And everyone loves magnets. You can do some crazy shit with ’em. (You have seen Breaking Bad, right? MAGNETS.)

What were we talking about? Oh, right, Eirik Gumeny’s Exponential Apocalypse: Dead Presidents. The only book on the market today that’s guaranteed to cure your erectile dysfunction*, protect you from gunfire*, and gain you immediate access to that swanky back-room hot dog place in the East Village*! And it doubles as a floatation device*! Plus it has 100% of your daily recommened fiber**! BUY YOUR COPY TODAY!

*It doesn’t do any of these things. Please don’t try.
**Maybe? Look, we’re not doctors. Don’t trust us with anything regarding your nutrition.

Kickstart My Heart

Man does not live by online journals alone. No, sometimes man wants a longer story, fiction he can really sink his teeth into. And sometimes man even wants a real, physical book, something with heft, for killing spiders and starting small fires. And so, because we do not want to disappoint our fellow human beings, Jersey Devil Press also releases the occasional novel or short story collection.

As such, we’re proud to announce our lineup for 2012: Exponential Apocalypse: Dead Presidents by Eirik Gumeny (out in July) and an untitled collection of short stories by Ryan Werner (out this fall). There is little doubt that they will be among the greatest books ever written.

But, frankly, the writing was the easy part. We’d like to do more. So we’ve created a Kickstarter campaign to help us accomplish that. Our modest funding goal covers book design, printing, and advertising the ever-loving shit out of the above-mentioned titles. Anything over the goal goes towards releasing an additional anthology this winter. And if we really go over the goal, we may even be able to pay the authors.

Help us out, won’t you? The little plastic dinosaurs will thank you.