Also wanted to mention that Stephen Schwegler is giving away a copy of his book Perhaps. to one lucky reader. You can tell this is all him because, nice guy that he is, he’s not even making you jump through hoops for it. You can check out the details here.

And while we’re talking about contests, go check out Bananafish’s first Short Story Competition. The winner gets money AND a t-shirt.

OK, now, time to rock out the May issue. Make sure you catch up on April’s while you still can!

Well, OK, yeah, you can catch up on all the issues all the time, but let’s at least pretend there’s some urgency here.

Wishes & Fishes
by Eirik Gumeny

Once upon a time there was a monkey. But this was no ordinary monkey. This was a magic, wish-granting monkey. Unfortunately for the monkey, though, this wish granting came at a price: He had to be listening to country music for the wish to come true.

The monkey hated country music.

He tried to like it, he really did. He wasn’t a stupid monkey, he knew that liking country music would be in his best interests. But there were songs about tractors. Tractors! The monkey just couldn’t do it.

One night, while drowning his sorrows in cheddar biscuits at Red Lobster, the monkey met a girl monkey. They got to talking and everything was great, until a Garth Brooks song came on over the PA system. The monkey immediately became annoyed.

“What’s wrong?” asked the girl monkey.

“I hate country music,” replied the monkey.

“It’s not THAT bad.”

“I know,” continued the monkey, “and it gives me the power to grant wishes, but…”

“You can grant wishes when you hear country music?”

“Yeah.”

“How is that a problem?”

“I really, REALLY hate country music.”

“Why don’t you just wish for the power to grant wishes WITHOUT having to hear country music?”

The monkeys lived happily ever after.

If all goes as planned and we collect ten dollars from everyone, we’re fine. But, at the same time, it is a donation. We are well aware that most money situations still kinda suck right now. And while we’d like to really bank on ten bucks from everyone, there’s no guarantee that everyone actually has a job.

Not to mention those who live too far away to make it to NYC but still want to give us their money anyway. Whatever are they to do?

Click that donate button to the right, that’s what. Yeah, that one. Do it. Go on.

No?

Well, alright then.

For every donation of $5, Eirik will write a short story on a Post It note and mail it to the donation-giver. $10 gets you a short story written on a piece of paper ripped from a steno pad. $20 and your story’s on actual, factual, 8.5 x 11, lined, ruled, notebook paper. And anyone who donates $40 or more gets a seat reserved for them in the front row of the show. These generous awesome folks, regardless of amount, will also get mad props on the website, should they want that.

That work a little better for you?

All donations from the website will go towards Genghis Khan Versus a Velociraptor. Should we accidentally make a profit, that’ll go towards the print anthology in the summer. Because paper costs money, yo.

And if you’re just not the donating type, don’t forget that we also have a store. You can buy Exponential Apocalypse and Perhaps. right from Jersey Devil Press, signed by the authors.

Look, money’s tight, I know. But we want to put on the best reading/workshop/shindig we can. And we want everyone who wants to come to be there. If you’re in a position to stress about ten dollars, we get it. We don’t want you to stress. But we do want you to show up. So don’t worry about it.

But those of you that are in a position to donate more… well, maybe you could.

Genghis Khan Versus a Velociraptor: A Reading/Workshop/Shindig!

Saturday, April 24th, 2010
Performances at 6:00 p.m. and 8:30 p.m.
Shetler 1, Shetler Studios, 244 West 54th Street, New York, NY 10019
Suggested donation: $10

Reserve your tickets now – and I mean NOW – by e-mailing
tickets@jerseydevilpress.com

Featuring readings and performances by Saida Cooper, Eirik Gumeny,
Gregory Levine, Matt Reeves, Stephen Schwegler, and Demi Williams

Directed by Monica Rodriguez

Full event details available at www.jerseydevilpress.com/genghis-khan/
______________________________________

If you miss it, you’ll only have yourself to blame.  You’ll be sad and you’ll cry and we’ll offer very little in the way of sympathy.

]]> http://www.jerseydevilpress.com/2010/03/28/in-case-you-missed-it/feed/ 0 http://www.jerseydevilpress.com/events/genghis-khan/ http://www.jerseydevilpress.com/events/genghis-khan/#comments Sun, 28 Mar 2010 14:04:12 +0000 Jersey Devil Press http://www.jerseydevilpress.com/?page_id=770 A Reading/Workshop/Shindig!

Saturday, April 24th, 2010
Performances at 6:00 p.m. and 8:30 p.m.
Shetler 1, Shetler Studios, 244 West 54th Street, New York, NY 10019

Readings and performances by Saida Cooper, Eirik Gumeny,
Gregory Levine, Matt Reeves, Stephen Schwegler, and Demi Williams

Directed by Monica Rodriguez
______________________________________

“Performances?  What?  You’re a publisher!”

True, but that’s a funny thing about the written word.  Sometimes it can be read out loud.  And if you’ve got friends in theater, sometimes you can trick them into acting it out!

We read and minimally staged excerpts from both of JDP’s first two books, Perhaps. by Stephen Schwegler and Exponential Apocalypse by Eirik Gumeny.  As well, there was a workshop performance of four new plays by Eirik Gumeny, because why not.  They’re awesome and we had awesome actors.

It goes without saying that the event was a rousing success. The actors acted spectacularly, the writers tried to, and Monica directed the crap out of everything.

If for some reason you weren’t there — or you just want to try and re-live what was clearly the high point of your life — then take a gander at the links below.

Pictures!

Plays!

Thanks to Demi, Matt, Saida, and Greg for bringing our stories to life. And thanks to Pat, Kristen, and Sarita for taking care of everything else!

“Performances? What? You’re a publisher!”

That’s right, we are. But that’s a funny thing about the written word. Sometimes it can be read out loud. And if you’ve got friends in theater, sometimes you can trick them into acting it out!

We’ll be reading and minimally staging excerpts from both of JDP’s first two books, Perhaps. by Stephen Schwegler and Exponential Apocalypse by Eirik Gumeny. As well, we’ll be workshopping four plays by Eirik Gumeny, because why not. They’re awesome and we’ve got awesome actors.

There’s no charge to attend, however there is a “suggested” donation that will be strictly enforced by a large, tattooed friend of ours. Also, there will be FREE BEER AND PIZZA, but only if you “voluntarily” donate. Both EA and Perhaps. will be on sale as well, and the authors will be there to sign them. Or if you’ve already bought a copy, just bring that one!

Seating is limited, so please send your reservation request to tickets@jerseydevilpress.com. Seating is first come, first served, and donations will be collected at the door.

Once again, that’s

Be there or regret it forever!

First, a reminder that Perhaps. is now available. We’ve got paperbacks, signed copies, and digital versions for your Kindle or e-reader. Buy one now!

Second, Duotrope’s Digest updated their classification system, opening us up to some new authors. Hooray! That said, New Submitters, please know that we are not fans of murder for the sake of murder. We prefer humor in our horror. Also, stop sending us stories about rape. Seriously. Fucking stop.

Third, we’re fixin’ to have ourselves a little shindig in New York City come the 24th of April. Part reading, part theater workshop, part free beer. Full details soon, but, for now, just mark your calendars. You won’t want to miss it.

You can buy a paperback or a signed copy, or, if you’re more digitally inclined, or simply a tree-hugger, you can also get a copy for your Kindle or other e-reader.

If for some reason blindly buying a book solely on the word of the publisher isn’t your thing, you can go ahead and read two of the stories from the collection before you give us your hard-earned — or stolen or found or won, we’re not picky — money: “Jesus Was Broke” is here and “Decisions” can be found here.

Read them and love them. Then own them. Then read them again. Then tell other people to read them. The world will be a better place for it.

Or read “Jesus Was Broke” first and then do it!

Either way, do it!

Time’s a-runnin’ out!

Perhaps., by Stephen Schwegler, is available for pre-order.

Order it now! Time is running out! Pre-orders are only open until the end of February! Then you’re going to have to wait two weeks and regular order it! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT TO YOURSELF?!

Perhaps. is available as a classic paperback and in the extra fancy “author signed” edition.

All pre-orders will be personally packaged with love and good intentions and will ship on March 15th.

You can find an excerpt from the collection, the short story “Jesus Was Broke,” here. Read it, love it, buy it. In whatever order you want.