Jersey Devil Press

Welcome to April, everyone. Sorry about throwing snow on the cover right when it feels safe to start thinking about spring, but we’ve got a lot of stories dealing with the end of the world this month. And — as Robert Frost was kind enough to point out — when the shit does go down, it’s gonna end in either fire or in ice. Once you read Danger_Slater’s “Snowpocalypse” you’ll see why I sided with ice.

Of course, if you prefer your worlds to end in ways that don’t involve your socks getting soaked, we’ve got you covered there, too. Unless you’re the titular fisherman of Joseph A. W. Quintela’s “The Fisherman Takes a Wife,” that is. Joseph’s second super-short, “Intelligent Life,” is the warmer fate, to be sure.

If you’d prefer something a little more sprawling, “The Newcomers,” by repeat offender Mike Sweeney, spins you a tale of vampire lovin,’ set in a post-apocalyptic New Jersey. Or if you’re looking for something with an international feel, look no further than Craig Wallwork’s “Sigourney Weaver Stole My Shadow” and its shadow-thief-plagued England. “Enclosure,” by Carly Anne West, spends its time in the ladies’ room and shows you a much more personal kind of calamity, while Josh Goller’s “Nothing Up His Sleeve” gives you a glimpse at the end of one very unlucky rabbit’s world.

Anything else, though, you’re on your own. There’re only so many apocalypses we can fit into a single issue. Believe me. It’s what I do.

You can curl up with the .pdf version here or make your way through the individual stories below.

– Eirik Gumeny

The Newcomers, Mike Sweeney
“The world ended on a Monday, but we didn’t see them till Tuesday.”

Nothing Up His Sleeve, Josh Goller
“Hanging by its scruff from the magician’s fat fingers,
the dead rabbit almost looked asleep.”

Sigourney Weaver Stole My Shadow, Craig Wallwork
“I closed all the curtains and had my wife shine a torch behind my hands. That’s when I realised something was wrong.”

Two Stories, Joseph A. W. Quintela
“A wayward military computer? Sure. But a Ford?”

Enclosure, Carly Anne West
“Her foot was undeniably and firmly lodged in the toilet’s drain.”

Snowpocalypse, Danger_Slater
“MOTHERFUCKER, I NEED MY MOTHERFUCKING MOTT’S APPLESAUCE!!!”

The 2010 storySouth Million Writers Award nominations have begun.

For our part, Jersey Devil Press nominated “The Werebear Who Wished to Come in from the Rain,” by Mike Sweeney, and “You and Me and the End of the World,” by M.R. Lang. Good luck, guys.

Reader nominations are open until February 28, 2010. You can find out more here and then nominate a story you think deserves some much needed accolades.

Not too long ago (as Jersey Devil Press hasn’t really existed long enough for anything to be considered “long ago”) we, the editorial staff, sat down at our respective laptops and banged out an About Us section that more accurately defined what we, as a magazine, were in fact about.  It was an agonizing ordeal, swallowing hours of our time and taking years off our respective lives.  There was sweat and there was blood, largely because Monica’s heating is insane and my desk has sharp edges.  Neither of us will admit to tears, though.  But you get the gist.

Were we successful in our Abouting?  If e-mails from complete strangers in California are any indication, then hell yes.

[Editor's Note: As per Mr. Holt's request, editor's commentary is in red.  Links are also in red.  There is going to be a lot of red.]

Dear Jersey Devil Press People,

As is the want of every as-yet-undiscovered-whatever (which with my being in California instantly makes me an aspiring actor [In Pennyslvania, they're apparently puppeteers.], which is inaccurate as I do not nor have ever waited tables wearing a white button up shirt and black slacks), I was perusing the lists of online magazines and journals who will publish nearly everything that is incomprehensible and poetic and yet will turn down my incomprehensible and poetic because it does not meet their “current needs at this time.” [I promise to never use the phrase "current needs" when we reject you.]

Somehow I accidentally stumbled onto your website [Destiny?] and accidentally discovered that there existed within Jersey Devil Press a commodity significantly lacking in nearly every other magazine/journal/press in the current publishing landscape [Latina editors?], that being an actual sense-of-humor and an acute sense of mortality [Oh.].

I regretted that I failed to read up on what a Jersey Devil was.  [That's a shame.]  I assume it’s some kind of “thing” that exists in Jersey [We also have Werebears.] (Or do you prefer non-Jersians to call it New Jersey?  I’m not sure of the local custom.  I don’t want to offend.  I mean I know Anthony Bourdain is from New Jersey but you may hate both him and his show on the Travel Channel… which I can respect.  [Kind of.  From the little I've seen he comes across as an arrogant tool.]  Forget I mentioned it.  [OK.]).  But whatever it is, I’m sure it’s good/bad and easy/difficult to deal with.  [Yes.]  For that matter I really didn’t read much more after that but I swear to God I’m looking at the pdf of the October issue right after this email.  [Man, you better have.  You too, current reader.  And read the November issue while you're at it.]

Anyway, good job and stuff.  [Thanks!]  Hope you guys don’t succumb to being serious artists and writing poems about red wheelbarrows… beside white chickens.  [We don't have any stories about chickens, but this one is about cows.]

Abstractly,

Caleb Holt

[Incidentally, as Caleb was so kind to point out, Kate Delany's Jersey Fresh was about the interaction between a Jerseyan and a Californian.  Much like this.  Crazy.]

[Side note:  To the authors of stories not linked to, we apologize.  We tried, but there're only so many ridiculous tangents we can string into a cohesive post.]