Posted on
November 09, 2009 by
Jersey Devil Press
Not too long ago (as Jersey Devil Press hasn’t really existed long enough for anything to be considered “long ago”) we, the editorial staff, sat down at our respective laptops and banged out an About Us section that more accurately defined what we, as a magazine, were in fact about. It was an agonizing ordeal, swallowing hours of our time and taking years off our respective lives. There was sweat and there was blood, largely because Monica’s heating is insane and my desk has sharp edges. Neither of us will admit to tears, though. But you get the gist.
Were we successful in our Abouting? If e-mails from complete strangers in California are any indication, then hell yes.
[Editor's Note: As per Mr. Holt's request, editor's commentary is in red. Links are also in red. There is going to be a lot of red.]
Dear Jersey Devil Press People,
As is the want of every as-yet-undiscovered-whatever (which with my being in California instantly makes me an aspiring actor [In Pennyslvania, they're apparently puppeteers.], which is inaccurate as I do not nor have ever waited tables wearing a white button up shirt and black slacks), I was perusing the lists of online magazines and journals who will publish nearly everything that is incomprehensible and poetic and yet will turn down my incomprehensible and poetic because it does not meet their “current needs at this time.” [I promise to never use the phrase "current needs" when we reject you.]
Somehow I accidentally stumbled onto your website [Destiny?] and accidentally discovered that there existed within Jersey Devil Press a commodity significantly lacking in nearly every other magazine/journal/press in the current publishing landscape [Latina editors?], that being an actual sense-of-humor and an acute sense of mortality [Oh.].
I regretted that I failed to read up on what a Jersey Devil was. [That's a shame.] I assume it’s some kind of “thing” that exists in Jersey [We also have Werebears.] (Or do you prefer non-Jersians to call it New Jersey? I’m not sure of the local custom. I don’t want to offend. I mean I know Anthony Bourdain is from New Jersey but you may hate both him and his show on the Travel Channel… which I can respect. [Kind of. From the little I've seen he comes across as an arrogant tool.] Forget I mentioned it. [OK.]). But whatever it is, I’m sure it’s good/bad and easy/difficult to deal with. [Yes.] For that matter I really didn’t read much more after that but I swear to God I’m looking at the pdf of the October issue right after this email. [Man, you better have. You too, current reader. And read the November issue while you're at it.]
Anyway, good job and stuff. [Thanks!] Hope you guys don’t succumb to being serious artists and writing poems about red wheelbarrows… beside white chickens. [We don't have any stories about chickens, but this one is about cows.]
Abstractly,
Caleb Holt
[Incidentally, as Caleb was so kind to point out, Kate Delany's Jersey Fresh was about the interaction between a Jerseyan and a Californian. Much like this. Crazy.]
[Side note: To the authors of stories not linked to, we apologize. We tried, but there're only so many ridiculous tangents we can string into a cohesive post.]
