{"id":9118,"date":"2025-12-16T18:15:03","date_gmt":"2025-12-17T01:15:03","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.jerseydevilpress.com\/?page_id=9118"},"modified":"2025-12-16T18:15:03","modified_gmt":"2025-12-17T01:15:03","slug":"people-eater","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"http:\/\/www.jerseydevilpress.com\/?page_id=9118","title":{"rendered":"People Eater"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size\"><strong>Nicholas Alti<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"\">Twinkle toes don\u2019t taste good this year,<br>too much crunch. Pulp. Plus, no rot yet.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"\">My hunch: fiddlesticks\u00a0<em>in\u00a0<\/em>our micro-plastic.\u00a0<br>This can go one of two ways: tongue or cheek.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"\">You want to go blow for blow? What kind<br>of sexy threat is that? Don\u2019t hurt me!\u00a0<em>Harm\u00a0<\/em>me.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"\">I\u2019ve got a bone to rip from you. Hit you with.<br>So many wells left to poison, cuts to kiss bitter.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"\">This was probably inevitable. A tough case: sweet,<br>pitch black plasma, yes, but only light grey plague.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"\">Contamination is a measure of chance. Hypnosis.<br>We can go delicate. We can make a moment.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"\">I thought you wanted to get smothered<br>in honey, not insect repellent. Sorry, tombstone.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"\">Now, your vision should be blurring. Nauseous?\u00a0<br>The horsemen storm behind you, bearing lances.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"\">I just wanted to befriend. You look yum.<br>Don\u2019t go\u2014I just want to sear you briefly.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n&nbsp;\n\n\n\n<hr\/>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"\">From rural Michigan,\u00a0<strong>NICHOLAS ALTI<\/strong>\u00a0is a bartender in Atlanta who holds an MFA from the University of Alabama. He is interested in absurdity, silliness, and surrealism. His poetry is\u00a0<em>in Burial Books Blog, 7th-Circle Pyrite, Star*Line, Horror Sleaze Trash,<\/em>\u00a0and his website is 3bluntzatonce.com.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Nicholas Alti Twinkle toes don\u2019t taste good this year,too much crunch. Pulp. Plus, no rot yet. My hunch: fiddlesticks\u00a0in\u00a0our micro-plastic.\u00a0This can go one of two ways: tongue or cheek.\u00a0 You want to go blow for blow? What kindof sexy threat &hellip; <a href=\"http:\/\/www.jerseydevilpress.com\/?page_id=9118\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":9117,"menu_order":1,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-9118","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/P15duy-2n4","_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.jerseydevilpress.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/9118","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.jerseydevilpress.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.jerseydevilpress.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.jerseydevilpress.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.jerseydevilpress.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=9118"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/www.jerseydevilpress.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/9118\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":9126,"href":"http:\/\/www.jerseydevilpress.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/9118\/revisions\/9126"}],"up":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.jerseydevilpress.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/9117"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.jerseydevilpress.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=9118"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}