{"id":9036,"date":"2025-07-31T23:57:23","date_gmt":"2025-08-01T05:57:23","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.jerseydevilpress.com\/?page_id=9036"},"modified":"2025-08-01T00:03:39","modified_gmt":"2025-08-01T06:03:39","slug":"late-night-at-bungies","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"http:\/\/www.jerseydevilpress.com\/?page_id=9036","title":{"rendered":"late night at bungie\u2019s\u00a0"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Beatrice Bleakley<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dave is a: not paid enough and b: baked as hell, constantly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That last one is the only good reason to work the late night shift at a Bungie\u2019s. Nobody here cares that he\u2019s baked as hell. They care that he punches in their midnight burger order. And he\u2019s perfected the exact<\/em> amount of stoned he needs to be to still be able to do that. It\u2019s an art. No matter what his mom says, it\u2019s a fucking science. Dave is broke, living in a shitty apartment, and permanently dateless but he is also, basically, a scientist.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So tonight, around midnight, Dave is watching the light patterns the colors on the wall makes when a guy comes in. He looks a little more straitlaced than his normal midnight clientele. Dave\u2019s pretty sure he sees a priest\u2019s collar under the battered leather jacket he\u2019s wearing, although it doesn\u2019t seem to fit him well. But Dave\u2019s not here to judge. In addition to being broke, living in a shitty apartment, permanently dateless, and basically a scientist, Dave is very zen.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHi, welcome to Bungie\u2019s,\u201d he says, grateful for the script he will probably be able to run in his grave. \u201cWhat can I get for you tonight?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cCheeseburgers,\u201d the man answers, a little gravelly, surveying the menu. \u201cI have been informed that you have the best fast food burgers from a reliable source.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cUh. Cool. Thank you.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cSo provide me\u2026 with cheeseburgers.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cLike. Plural?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The man\u2019s staring is freaking him out a little. \u201cCool. How many?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cSeventy.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dave pauses. He\u2019s too<\/em> stoned, isn\u2019t he? The day has come. Mom was right.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cUh, sorry,\u201d he says, trying to sound as unstoned as possible. His voice drops a couple octaves. \u201cHow<\/em> many?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cSeventy.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cLike. Like seven zero?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cApproximately.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Man, this guy\u2019s gotta stop staring at him like that. \u201cUh. Yeah. Sure, man.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The man holds out a crisp bill. \u201cWill one hundred money be appropriate?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Oh, fuck. Math. Dave is definitely<\/em> too high to do math off the top of his head. \u201c\u2026absolutely.\u201d They won\u2019t care, will they, his bosses? If he just sticks it in the register? Money\u2019s money, right? \u201cDo you\u2026 mind waiting?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The man\u2019s face twitches. It\u2019s the most his expression has changed since he came in and it makes Dave jump. \u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Fuck. He is definitely, definitely<\/em> too stoned for whatever this guy\u2019s on. \u201cUh. Okay. I don\u2019t\u2026 we don\u2019t have seventy cheeseburgers\u2026 done. Is the thing. So if you want seventy, you gotta\u2026 you gotta give us a little time, man.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The man\u2019s face twitches again. \u201cVery well.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s\u2026 what\u2019s your name?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The man\u2019s eyes narrow. \u201cWhy?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cFor\u2026 the order.\u201d The man continues to stare. \u201cSo I can\u2026 I can tell you when the order\u2019s done.\u201d The man sighs, and says something Dave does not understand for the life<\/em> of him. \u201cSorry?\u201d He repeats himself, a little annoyed. Dave doesn\u2019t get it this time either so he just gives up, punching seventy burger guy<\/em> into the machine. \u201cOkay. Just, uh. Just wait.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cDave,\u201d Mick hisses in the back. \u201cDave, c\u2019mere.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dave sidles into the back. Mick, who is seventeen, and no less stoned than he is, stares at him. \u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cDude, you\u2019re too high.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Fear gripes Dave. \u201cDude, how could you tell?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cDude, you put seventy burgers<\/em> down.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThat\u2019s how many he asked for.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mick looks floored. \u201cHe asked. He asked for seven zero?<\/em>\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYeah, man.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI gotta\u2026\u201d The color is draining from Mick\u2019s face. \u201cI gotta do seven zero<\/em> burgers?<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYeah. Sorry.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cExcuse me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mick and Dave crane their necks to see the man is leaning over the counter.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI would take them as they come,\u201d he tells them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI.\u201d Mick looks just as lost as Dave feels. \u201cI got seven ready? For starters?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cSeven will be fine for now.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mick looks at Dave. Dave looks at Mick.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cFuck,\u201d Mick mumbles. \u201cOkay.\u201d He grabs the seven and hands them off to Dave, who cradles them as best as he can. He returns to the counter, dumping them all in front of the man.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHere you go, uh, Father.\u201d You call the ones with collar Father, don\u2019t you? Dave wouldn\u2019t know. He doesn\u2019t have much experience with any kind of father.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThank you.\u201d The man unwraps one and voraciously tears into it, like he\u2019s never eaten before. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYou, uh.\u201d Dave feels like he has to say something. As a scientist. \u201cYou good, Father?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhy are you calling me that?\u201d The man asks, mouth full.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThe, uh. The collar.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAh. Yes. I suppose that makes sense.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAre you\u2026 on something? Which, that\u2019s fine. Jesus, uh. Jesus probably gets it.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The man crumples up the foil on his burger and reaches for the second.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhat do you know about the heat death of the universe?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cUh. Nothing.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow nothing?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNothing nothing.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The man takes a bite.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIt is theorized,\u201d he tells him, through a mouthful of burger. \u201cThat one day, the universe will reach a state of maximum entropy. All energy will move into spaces with less energy.\u201d He takes two more rapid bites. \u201cHeat will no longer flow. No more energy can be produced.\u201d He takes a third, massive bite, and wads up the foil. \u201cOnce that happens, the universe dies. Once all that remains is heat, nothing that\u2019s left can survive.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Fuck. Dave is, officially, regretting the joint. \u201cOh, yeah?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The man grabs the next burger. \u201cMmhm.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhen, uh. When\u2019s that gonna happen?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cUnclear. This presupposes that the universe is infinitely expanding.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIs it?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNobody knows.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Psychedelics, yeah? Gotta be. \u201cOkay. So the heat death of the universe\u2026 means cheeseburger time?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIn a strictly linear sense, perhaps.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dave tries to reevaluate the guy. His pants are scuffed. There\u2019s dirt on the knees. \u201cDid\u2026 did you fall? Maybe hit your head?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI hit nothing. But I see very<\/em> clearly.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThat\u2019s\u2026 that\u2019s good, I guess.\u201d Dave watches him reach for another burger. \u201cDid\u2026 did God tell you to order all those burgers? Cause, uh. Cause I don\u2019t think He should be doing that.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThere were no cheeseburgers in the Garden, you know.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYeah. Makes\u2026 sense.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The man leans in conspiratorially. \u201cI always thought Eve got something of a raw deal.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYeah. So does my mom.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI know.\u201d The man is singleminded. He doesn\u2019t fidget or shift. He just keeps eating. \u201cShe was in such pain during childbirth, you know. She didn\u2019t know what was happening. Nobody explained it to her. She thought God was finishing the job. She kept begging Lord, was my sin so great?<\/em>\u201d The man finishes his burger. \u201cIt\u2019s the sort of thing that stays with you, you see.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cRight. Right.\u201d God, does Dave wish Mick was out here with him. \u201cI could see that.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIt didn\u2019t seem fair. Especially as I have always suspected that Eve passed the test.\u201d The man bites into his burger. \u201cIt is unfair to rig a game.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhat\u2026 does Eve have to do with the, uh. The heat death of the universe?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cEverything, don\u2019t you think?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI got six more burgers,\u201d Mick says. Dave picks them up and brings them over to the counter.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThe same is true of Abraham and Isaac, of course,\u201d the man continues, as if Dave never left. \u201cIn reverse. Abraham failed that test. I know<\/em> he did. What would be the point, if he didn\u2019t? What\u2019s the point of any of it?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

 \u201cUm.\u201d Dave\u2019s sweating a little. \u201cI don\u2019t know, Father.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The man licks a bit of ketchup off his thumb. \u201cYou seek a familiar term in an unfamiliar world.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cDoesn\u2019t everybody? I guess?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He snags another burger. \u201cIt does become a habit, doesn\u2019t it?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Is he making a nun joke? Probably not. This guy doesn\u2019t seem like a joker. \u201cYeah.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhat do you think of games?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI, uh. I play a little LEGO Star Wars, sometimes.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI meant the sort that God plays.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI don\u2019t\u2026 know what sort of games God plays. I\u2019ve never\u2026 I\u2019ve never even been in a church for services.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo. Me, neither.\u201d Dave\u2019s brow furrows and he opens his mouth. \u201cJob, you know. Job was a game. Between him and Satan. That\u2019s <\/em>the sort of game God plays. He plays with lives.\u201d The man nails him with that intense stare, biting into yet another burger. \u201cDo you believe that\u2019s right?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dave swallows.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI dunno that it\u2019s my business to question God,\u201d he answers, not entirely sure of what he\u2019s saying.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYou don\u2019t think we must question everything?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI don\u2019t\u2026 question everything<\/em>. I know that the sky\u2019s blue, most of the time. And grass is green, most of the time. So\u2026 why shouldn\u2019t I know that God knows His business?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYou believe God has a plan, then.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI dunno. I hope so, I guess.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMore burgers,\u201d Mick says. Dave takes an armful and returns to the counter.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHope,\u201d the man mumbles, chewing thoughtfully but not slowly. \u201cI have seen much hinge on hope.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYeah. Sure.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHope\u2026 is not enough.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI mean. It\u2019s gotta be, right?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The man grabs another burger. \u201cDo you believe in the heat death of the universe?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dave doesn\u2019t know what the right answer is here. \u201cYeah, I guess. It sounds plausible.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cDo you believe in God?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAs much as anybody else, I guess.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThen do you believe that when the heat death of the universe comes, it will kill God, as well as everything else?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI.\u201d Dave swallows again, taking a deep breath. \u201cI don\u2019t think God\u2019s part of the universe.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo. I think\u2026 I think God\u2019s somewhere else.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHm.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dave thinks about asking the man what he thinks, then decides he doesn\u2019t actually want to know. \u201cYeah.\u201d The man takes another burger. \u201cFather, should you be eating all those?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI think we are all building cathedrals. I think we are all, even atheists, praying.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201c\u2026cool.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cDo you pray? Out loud?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo. Uh, no, sir.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI have never understood the point, if you believe He\u2019s always listening. I have never seen the wisdom. Surely He already knows.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMore burgers,\u201d Mick says. Dave, mechanically, fetches them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cPerhaps it comes down to peace,\u201d the man mumbles, through meat and cheese and bread. \u201cPerhaps it is simply that I have never known peace.\u201d He looks up at Dave. \u201cHave you known peace?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMy mom\u2019s kitchen,\u201d Dave answers truthfully, because he is too frightened to do otherwise. \u201cShe likes to play Joni Mitchell while she cooks.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMm.\u201d The man grabs a burger. \u201cI imagine it is good to know peace. I imagine it feels how an easy rain smells in the middle of the day.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIt doesn\u2019t rain much here,\u201d Dave says, because he doesn\u2019t know what else to say.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAs I understand it,\u201d the man agrees.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cFather, do you need me to\u2026 call someone?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The man takes a final bite. \u201cThere is nobody to call.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYour, um. Your parish? Or\u2026 or a hospital?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cDude,\u201d Mick hisses. \u201cDude.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dave creeps up to the window. \u201cYeah?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cDude, are you keeping track of how many burgers I\u2019ve made?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAm I-<\/em>\u201c Dave gives him an aghast look. \u201cDude, do you not know?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cDude, it is so<\/em> many burgers.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI have consumed twenty eight,\u201d the man says, seemingly unhindered by their volume. \u201cYou have forty two to go.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mick gives him a despairing look. Helplessly, Dave shrugs. Muttering, Mick returns to the kitchen.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThese are very good,\u201d the man tells Dave.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThey\u2019re alright,\u201d Dave answers, a little winded. \u201cFor the price.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo.\u201d The man balls up his foil. \u201cThey\u2019re very good, I assure you. I\u2019ve never had anything like them.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI\u2019m\u2026 glad you like them.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIt is strange to like anything.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYeah. That\u2019s true.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI liked the Judean Date Palm. Very much. But that\u2019s gone now, too.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIt\u2026 sucks when things are gone.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIt only means they mean more when they leave, I suspect.\u201d The man wads up his foil again. \u201cSo I\u2019ve heard. I feel every wound as though it were raw.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMore burgers,\u201d Mick drones. Dave gathers them up, pauses. He stares down at them before making a sort of exhausted decision, even with weighing the chances that this guy\u2019s gonna deck him for saying it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cFather,\u201d he says, not that he really believes he\u2019s a Father, at this point, only out of a lack of what to call him. \u201cI don\u2019t\u2026 think this is good for you. I don\u2019t think any part of this is good for you.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And he drops them on the floor. The burgers, sloppily wrapped on account of the volume and the late hour, tumble across the grimy tile.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cDude,<\/em>\u201d Mick mumbles, appalled.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The man gives him a good, long look. Dave braces himself. It\u2019s fine. It\u2019s not the first time he\u2019s been punched.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The man leans across the counter, and crooks his finger. Against his better judgment, Dave leans in.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cDavid McCluskey,\u201d the man tells him, seriously. \u201cYour mother loves you. Even when she fights with you, she loves you. You are her only son. Her only child. You know the sky is blue, most of the time. You know the grass is green, most of the time. Know that your mother loves you, always.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The man turns, leaving Dave frozen behind the counter, and walks out the door. The bell over the doorway rings, jarring in the abrupt silence.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dave doesn\u2019t move a muscle.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow many burgers did he eat?\u201d Mick finally asks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cLots,\u201d David croaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cChrist.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dave looks at all the little balls of tin foil on the counter, and swallows.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cCan you-\u201c Dave clears his throat. \u201cUh. Sorry. I\u2019ll\u2026 I\u2019ll clear all those up, can you just- I\u2019ll be back in five.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYeah, man,\u201d Mick answers, looking a little bowled over.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dave disappears out the back door into the parking lot. The fresh air is diluted by the smell of the dumpster and it\u2019s almost a relief. With shaking hands, he pulls out his phone. She picks up on the fourth ring.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cBaby?\u2019 Mom mumbles. \u201cAren\u2019t you at work?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYeah.\u201d Dave\u2019s breathing heavy. \u201cYeah.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIs everything okay?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYeah.\u201d Dave stares into the distance, into the woods out behind the Bungie\u2019s, like maybe if he does long enough something\u2019ll stare back. \u201cYeah. I, um. I love you, you know that?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There\u2019s quiet on Mom\u2019s end.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cDo you want me to fly out?\u201d She asks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo.\u201d Dave rubs his eye furiously. \u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI will.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI know.\u201d He clears his throat again. \u201cI\u2019m fine. I\u2019m just. It\u2019s been a long night.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhat can I do to help?\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo, I just\u2026 I just needed to hear your voice.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOkay.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI can\u2019t stay. I just\u2026 thank you. For picking up. For everything.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI want you to sleep in tomorrow, okay? I\u2019ll send you a couple bucks for coffee.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOkay.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cCall me when you wake up.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI will.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAnd I love you, too.\u201d Her voice turns decidedly affectionate. \u201cAnd lay off the reefer, a little.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOkay. I will. Bye, Mom.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cBye, baby.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dave hangs up the phone, because if he doesn\u2019t right then, he never will. He looks up at the inky sky, at the glittering stars, at the constant moon.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And then, taking a deep breath, he walks back into the Bungie\u2019s, closing the door behind him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

BEATRICE BLEAKLEY<\/strong>\u00a0is a writer, and that\u2019s all these is to be said about that. She has previously been published in\u00a0Assignment Literary Magazine<\/em>\u00a0and\u00a0Kennings Artistic and Literary Journal<\/em>. If you like her work and enjoy silly nonsense, you can find her @beableakley.bsky.social.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Beatrice Bleakley Dave is a: not paid enough and b: baked as hell, constantly. That last one is the only good reason to work the late night shift at a Bungie\u2019s. Nobody here cares that he\u2019s baked as hell. They … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":9030,"menu_order":6,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-9036","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/P15duy-2lK","_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.jerseydevilpress.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/9036","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.jerseydevilpress.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.jerseydevilpress.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.jerseydevilpress.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.jerseydevilpress.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=9036"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/www.jerseydevilpress.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/9036\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":9051,"href":"http:\/\/www.jerseydevilpress.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/9036\/revisions\/9051"}],"up":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.jerseydevilpress.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/9030"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.jerseydevilpress.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=9036"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}