{"id":6658,"date":"2015-04-01T21:06:30","date_gmt":"2015-04-02T03:06:30","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.jerseydevilpress.com\/?page_id=6658"},"modified":"2015-04-01T21:06:30","modified_gmt":"2015-04-02T03:06:30","slug":"my-friends-live-on-my-bed","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"http:\/\/www.jerseydevilpress.com\/?page_id=6658","title":{"rendered":"My Friends Live on My Bed"},"content":{"rendered":"

Ashley Hutson<\/strong><\/p>\n

Since I\u2019ve gotten sick, Pete has started talking to me via stuffed animal. A menagerie left over from my childhood sits on our bed, a collection of elaborate fictions I never gave up. The oldest is Toby Benson, a sleazy German shepherd whose police dog experience turned into a real cocaine problem. He teaches Krav Maga classes. He is able to do this, he tells me, because he has lethal beanbag paws. He allows people to join for \u201cfriend prices,\u201d which always start at two hundred forty dollars.<\/p>\n

Toby is married to Jack McPherson, a small bear Pete\u2019s mom gave him for Valentine\u2019s Day a few years ago. Drunk Irish, Pete says. Loves to jig. Thinks Obama is spelled O\u2019Bama. Big liberal.<\/p>\n

\u201cLiberal? How do you know?\u201d I asked Pete once.<\/p>\n

\u201cCome on,\u201d Pete said. \u201cIt\u2019s a bear and dog love story. Think of their civil rights.\u201d<\/p>\n

When we have company over, we shut the bedroom door. Stuffed animals on an adult bed are hard to explain. People have either too little or too much imagination.<\/p>\n

We used to have people drop in pretty regularly. But more and more I find myself not answering the door. This afternoon we were sitting on the couch when someone knocked. Pete and I remained very still and waited for them to go away. We both knew it wasn\u2019t happening.<\/p>\n

I turn to Pete after the knocking stopped. \u201cLet\u2019s visit the animals,\u201d I say.<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t you want to go out?\u201d Pete says. \u201cSee the sights?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNah,\u201d I say. \u201cI\u2019d rather be among friends.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou got it.\u201d<\/p>\n

He leads me into the bedroom and shows me Calliope Sam who farts uncontrollably and talks like Johnny Cash. Sam\u2019s face is frozen in a perpetual neigh. He tells me that he misses the carousel life, but he sure as hell does not miss being impaled on a striped pole.<\/p>\n

Then Calliope Sam puts his front hooves on my leg and looks up at me.<\/p>\n

\u201cHey, darlin\u2019,\u201d he whinnies. \u201cI\u2019m so happy I came to live with you.\u201d<\/p>\n

He seems to choke up for a minute. It gets quiet. I pet his mane and tell him to not be sad. I\u2019m pretty happy he unimpaled his ass and came here, too.<\/p>\n

He gives me a weak neigh and we both titter awkwardly.<\/p>\n

It goes quiet again.<\/p>\n

I look Pete in the eyes. \u201cDoes this make us weird?\u201d I ask.<\/p>\n

\u201cUm, yeah,\u201d he says.<\/p>\n

\u201cWill you keep on doing this, you know, after it\u2019s over?\u201d I say.<\/p>\n

He picks up Prospector Jones. The prairie dog and retired gold miner jumps up to sit on my shoulder. He clears his throat, and declares in a strong, whistling voice, \u201cWhoa, there, pardner. Don\u2019t dig that hole too soon.\u201d<\/p>\n

ASHLEY HUTSON<\/strong> has work published or forthcoming in SmokeLong Quarterly<\/em>, theNewerYork<\/em>, The Heavy Contortionists<\/em>, The Lascaux Review<\/em>, and others. She was also named the short fiction finalist for the Orlando Prize in 2014. She lives in Sharpsburg, MD. Find her on the web at www.aahutson.com<\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Ashley Hutson Since I\u2019ve gotten sick, Pete has started talking to me via stuffed animal. A menagerie left over from my childhood sits on our bed, a collection of elaborate fictions I never gave up. The oldest is Toby Benson, … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"parent":6654,"menu_order":5,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","template":"","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-6658","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/P15duy-1Jo","_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.jerseydevilpress.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/6658","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.jerseydevilpress.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.jerseydevilpress.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.jerseydevilpress.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.jerseydevilpress.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=6658"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/www.jerseydevilpress.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/6658\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6667,"href":"http:\/\/www.jerseydevilpress.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/6658\/revisions\/6667"}],"up":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.jerseydevilpress.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/6654"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.jerseydevilpress.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=6658"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}