{"id":493,"date":"2010-09-27T00:10:47","date_gmt":"2010-09-27T04:10:47","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.jerseydevilpress.com\/?page_id=493"},"modified":"2010-09-27T00:10:47","modified_gmt":"2010-09-27T04:10:47","slug":"52-pickup","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"http:\/\/www.jerseydevilpress.com\/?page_id=493","title":{"rendered":"52 Pickup"},"content":{"rendered":"

by Brandon Blackburn
\n
\nThey began the evening heavily encumbered.\u00a0 Heather answered her apartment door wearing five tops under a vest and a peacoat, boots over jeans, several dangling necklaces over a choker, three pairs of earrings, and a headband.\u00a0 No doubt she would also be wearing stockings and numerous pairs of underwear.\u00a0 She\u2019d outdone him.\u00a0 Even with all his rings and \u2013 the coup de gr\u00e2ce \u2013 the ten pairs of boxers he wore under his jeans, she had much more to remove than him.\u00a0 Beginning the evening heavily encumbered was important when you played strip Texas hold\u2019em with rules dictating that up to three articles of clothing could be wagered on any hand.<\/p>\n

Really, Greg couldn\u2019t believe his luck.\u00a0 Buzzed already, he\u2019d had little hope that Heather would be planless at 11 on a Friday night.\u00a0 Whether by luck or maybe something more, she\u2019d invited him over anyway and had been amenable to his suggestion of a friendly competitive game of cards.\u00a0 He sped from the bar to his place to throw on more clothes and sped faster to Heather\u2019s fourth floor apartment.\u00a0 I mean, Heather was fucking gorgeous, man, and these kinds of windows tend to close pretty fast.<\/p>\n

So they began the evening heavily encumbered, but they\u2019d both taken their losses.\u00a0 Their jewelry was all piled up together to one side of the table where they were playing their game, thin gold and thick silver rings thrown into the tangled morass of Heather\u2019s necklaces.\u00a0 Greg was down to his last shirt.\u00a0 He was pretty sure Heather was too.\u00a0 He pulled up the corners of his two cards, which were face down on the table in front of him, then took a swig of his Jack & Coke, watching over the rim of his plastic cup the way Heather\u2019s padded bra pushed against her sheer white top.\u00a0 He forgot what his cards were and took another glance.<\/p>\n

Heather watched Greg\u2019s eyes roam over her breasts, turn to his cards, then return to her breasts.\u00a0 She considered using the goosebumps popping up on her pale arms as an excuse to end the game then and put her cable-knit sweater back on.\u00a0 She didn\u2019t know why she\u2019d let him come over when it was just going to be the two of them and she really<\/em> didn\u2019t fucking know why she\u2019d agreed to strip poker.\u00a0 She\u2019d been buzzed.\u00a0 She\u2019d been bored.\u00a0 She\u2019d been watching Shark Week on the Discovery Channel alone.\u00a0 Moreover, she\u2019d been bored and would probably be bored again once the mild humiliations of the night were over and she was dressed again and he had left.\u00a0 She looked at her two cards and wagered one article of clothing.\u00a0 She took a swig of Jack and Greg said, \u201cI call.\u201d<\/p>\n

Heather dealt three cards face up onto the table between them.\u00a0 This is called The Flop.\u00a0 They re-examined their cards and both decided not to raise their bets above one article.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou know,\u201d Heather said, delaying the drawing of the next card, \u201ccards are a metaphor for life in a lot of ways.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah?\u201d\u00a0 Greg looked impatient.\u00a0 His eyes were still on her tits.<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah.\u00a0 Have you heard of telomeres?\u201d\u00a0 Greg shook his head, making fleeting eye contact, then lowering his eyes to her tits again.\u00a0 \u201cWell,\u201d she continued, \u201cevery cell in the human body has this thing in it called a telomere.\u00a0 Every time our cells divide, their telomeres get a little shorter.\u00a0 Once our telomeres shrink down to half their original size, our cells can\u2019t divide anymore and we die of old age.\u00a0 In total, our cells can divide 52 times before we die.\u00a0 52 cards, 52 cell divisions \u2018til death.\u00a0 Neat, right?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, neat.\u00a0 Well, that\u2019s why I always say seize the day.\u00a0 I mean, we never know when our last day might be, so we have to make the most of each day that we do<\/em> have.\u201d\u00a0 He meant, of course, Come on, Heather.\u00a0 Let\u2019s fuck<\/em>.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s a good philosophy, I guess,\u201d she said.\u00a0 She meant, of course, You\u2019re sweet, but no<\/em>.<\/p>\n

Greg ended up losing that hand and took off his belt.\u00a0 He went to use Heather\u2019s bathroom.\u00a0 He\u2019d been drinking whiskey for days<\/em>, man.\u00a0 While he was out of sight, she shuffled the deck and then flipped the cards face up and moved some of them around to strategic points, making sure the right card would continue to be dealt at the right time, keeping the night\u2019s events on schedule.<\/p>\n

Greg sat back down and Heather dealt the next hand, two cards to him, two cards to her.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou know,\u201d she said, \u201cit\u2019s more than just the telomeres.\u00a0 There\u2019s lots of other coincidences.\u201d<\/p>\n

He took a peek at his cards and couldn\u2019t help but smile broadly as he uncovered the Ace of Spades and the Ace of Hearts.\u00a0 He wagered two articles.\u00a0 She hesitated and he felt a momentary panic:\u00a0 he\u2019d wasted his advantage.\u00a0 He should\u2019ve bet one<\/em> to start with.\u00a0 She might fold and the hand would be over and they\u2019d both still be equally as clothed as they were before the present hand.<\/p>\n

\u201cI call,\u201d she said at last.\u00a0 He let out a breath he\u2019d been holding.\u00a0 He was taking things very seriously.<\/p>\n

\u201cAnyway,\u201d she continued, \u201c52 cards, 52 weeks in a year.\u00a0 Just for instance.\u201d<\/p>\n

She flipped three cards face up onto the table:\u00a0 the Ace of Clubs, the Two of Clubs, and the Ace of Diamonds.\u00a0 Greg\u2019s eyes widened.\u00a0 He raised his bet to the max:\u00a0 three articles of clothing.\u00a0 \u201cI call,\u201d Heather said quickly.<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd did you know there\u2019s 52 white keys on a standard piano?\u00a0 Did card makers and piano makers base their products on the weeks of the year?\u00a0 Or did they have some inkling about cell division and the mathematics of death?\u201d<\/p>\n

The last two cards of the hand were inconsequential \u2013 a king and a nine.\u00a0 Four aces in hand, Greg couldn\u2019t help but laugh.\u00a0 The whiskey was working its simple magic and he felt warm and alight and alive<\/em>, man.<\/p>\n

Heather looked to Greg\u2019s mouth, which had been laughing but now was just a tongue licking lips in anticipation.\u00a0 He was watching her breasts rising and falling with her breathing.\u00a0 She was breathing heavier now from drinking too fast.\u00a0 She peeked at the two cards face down in front of her:\u00a0 a four and a seven.\u00a0 With the five cards face up on the table, that gave Heather a handful of exactly nothing.<\/p>\n

\u201cTwo aces,\u201d she said, flipping her two concealed cards over.<\/p>\n

\u201cFour<\/em> aces!\u201d he practically howled, flipping his cards over.<\/p>\n

\u201cWow!\u00a0 What are the chances?\u00a0 Okay, so I take off three articles?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLooks like it.\u201d\u00a0 Greg couldn\u2019t conceal a quick smirk.<\/p>\n

\u201cOkay.\u00a0 Hey.\u00a0 Have you also ever thought about the fact that there are 52 cards in a deck and 52 letters in the English language if you count upper and lowercase letters?\u00a0 Neat, right?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah.\u00a0 Neat.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat should I take off?\u00a0\u00a0 My socks count as two.\u201d\u00a0 She removed her rainbow-striped socks.\u00a0 \u201cWhat for my third?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYour choice.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou<\/em> choose.\u00a0 What should I take off?\u201d\u00a0 She smiled.<\/p>\n

He pursed his lips, acting as though he had to think about it really hard.\u00a0 He couldn\u2019t keep his eyes down, though.\u00a0 They danced on every part of her.\u00a0 They did cartwheels over the hills of her breasts.\u00a0 She loved it.\u00a0 She fucking loved it, man:\u00a0 the attention, the desire she drew out of him without his consent, the way he could barely control himself, the tremor running through his fingers, and knowing that his fingers wanted to be all the places his eyes had just been.\u00a0 His face brightened as though he had solved a particularly difficult riddle.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy not take off your shirt?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n

Heather gasped in faux scandalization.<\/p>\n

\u201cDirty boy!\u201d she exclaimed.\u00a0 Then, as she removed her aforementioned sheer white top, she asked, \u201cDid you know the Mayan calendar is based on cycles of 52 years?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cReally?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes.\u00a0 Do you like my bra?\u201d<\/p>\n

His eyes said yes.\u00a0 \u201cYes,\u201d he said.\u00a0 \u201cLeopard print.\u00a0 Very nice.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThank you.\u201d<\/p>\n

She\u2019d drained her cup.\u00a0 \u201cCan I make you another drink?\u201d he asked.\u00a0 He meant, of course, Would you like to get just hammered enough to let me do you?<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cSure, I\u2019ll have another.\u00a0 Thank you.\u00a0 It\u2019s your turn to deal, by the way.\u201d\u00a0 She slid the cards over to his side of the table, leaning over to give him a view straight down between her bra\u2019s two leopard-print padded cups.\u00a0 Then, as she predicted, he disappeared into the kitchen for a minute and returned with a drink much stronger than the last one he\u2019d mixed for her.\u00a0 She would slow her drinking pace to compensate.\u00a0 She smiled to herself, then smiled at him as he shuffled the cards.\u00a0 \u201cThanks,\u201d she said, gesturing to her cup.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re welcome.\u201d\u00a0 He smiled.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou know,\u201d she said, \u201cI think the Mayans are really interesting.\u00a0 They knew a lot about technology and astronomy and medicine and things.\u00a0 I have a couple of books on them.\u201d\u00a0 What she meant by this change of subject was, of course, We\u2019re friends.\u00a0 Why would I ever complicate our friendship by sleeping with you?<\/em><\/p>\n

The conversation, despite all the whiskey, wasn\u2019t going in the direction Greg wanted.\u00a0 If nothing else, at least he got to see Heather topless, but still he decided to try another tactic and show some interest in her <\/em>interests.\u00a0 \u201cWow, really?\u201d he said.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019d love to see those books.\u00a0 Do you have them here?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThey\u2019re in my rom.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLet\u2019s go check them out!\u201d\u00a0 He began to stagger out of his seat, leaning on the table for support.\u00a0 It\u2019s an unwritten, but time-honored tradition:\u00a0 the closer one\u2019s proximity to a woman\u2019s bed, the greater the chance that sex will occur.\u00a0 Getting into Heather\u2019s living room for a game of poker, then getting into her bedroom would be back-to-back victories in Greg\u2019s mind.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s not a truism, but it\u2019s certainly a long-established tenet of belief:\u00a0 get into a woman\u2019s bedroom and sex might very well follow.\u00a0 Greg would note that pornography, for instance, bears out this tenet again and again.\u00a0 Porn storylines revolve around men who have chosen professions like pizza delivery person or plumber or cable repairman because they understand the importance of one\u2019s proximity to a woman\u2019s bed, know that when you step off of the street and through a woman\u2019s front door, one\u2019s chances of hooking up with said woman skyrocket<\/em>.\u00a0 And how many times has a man driven a woman home from a bar and \u2013 seeing she has no intention of inviting him inside \u2013 asked in desperation, \u201cCould I come in and use your bathroom real quick?\u201d\u00a0 The man thinks a foot in the door is all he needs.\u00a0 Sometimes, man, it is<\/em>.<\/p>\n

Heather stood up from the table and led Greg into her bedroom.\u00a0 She loved that burning feeling between her shoulder blades, the sensation of being watched, being watched intently, his eyes abusing her bare back, roving up her spine, up and down her bra straps.\u00a0 She got down onto hands and knees, searching under her bed for the books in question.\u00a0 His eyes traveled down her spine, down her thighs still covered in tight-fitting jeans to the carpeted floor, then returned to caress her bare arms as she reached into the darkness below the bed, shuffling through piles of books.<\/p>\n

\u201cHere!\u201d she said after some time and produced a thick red paperback:\u00a0 The Mayans and Their World,<\/em> by Bazine Naodook.<\/p>\n

He flipped through it and said, \u201cNeat!\u00a0 Do you think I could borrow this sometime?\u00a0 It looks really interesting.\u201d\u00a0 Which she took to mean, Come on, Heather.\u00a0 Let\u2019s fuck.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cTake it now if you want,\u201d she said.\u00a0 \u201cWow, it\u2019s like 2:30.\u00a0 I think I\u2019ll get some sleep if that\u2019s cool.\u00a0 Are you okay to drive?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cShit.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know.\u00a0 Not really.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHere, you can crash on my couch.\u00a0 I\u2019ll get you some blankets.\u201d<\/p>\n

She went to get some blankets.\u00a0 What could Greg do?\u00a0 He decided he was okay to drive after all and he left, The Mayans and Their World<\/em> in hand, otherwise empty-handed.\u00a0 He went home and downloaded an adult film in which almost the entire staff of a moving company hooks up with a busty blonde homeowner who was having them load up her furniture for a move to a house in a better school district.\u00a0 Then Greg went to sleep.<\/p>\n

Heather didn\u2019t go to sleep right away.\u00a0 She finished her drink and she read Agatha Christie until 4 in the morning.\u00a0 At 4, when she was sure Greg must be asleep, she sent him a text, deliberately misspelling words, soberly making sure it could not be interpreted as anything but a \u201cdrunken text.\u201d\u00a0 If spelled properly, the text would have read, \u201cWhy did you leave?\u00a0 I totally want to fuck you right now.\u201d<\/p>\n

Greg will bring bottles of booze over to Heather\u2019s apartment nearly every weekend for the next three months.\u00a0 Heather will drink with him, but never more than a glass or two at a time.\u00a0 She will apologize for her \u201cdrunken text\u201d and promise to never let an indiscretion like that happen again, promise to never get that drunk again.\u00a0 And soon enough their game of pursuit and denial will get old for both of them.\u00a0 Then the game will end.\u00a0 Then their friendship will end.\u00a0 That\u2019s what games are<\/em> when you really break it down, man.\u00a0 One thing happens and then another thing happens until nothing\u2019s happening anymore and we all get bored and then we move on to other things.\u00a0 That\u2019s it.\u00a0 Repeat that until your cells have divided 52 times and then they stop dividing.\u00a0 And then, man, you fucking move on again.
\n
<\/br>
\n
<\/br>
\nBRANDON BLACKBURN<\/strong> is a freelance writer of short fiction. He holds an MA in English from the University at Albany, SUNY and is a member of the Writer’s Bloc at Miami University, Ohio. He has previously been published in Skive Magazine. Brandon currently resides in Cincinnati, Ohio.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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