Leanne Gregg<\/p>\n
Dear Angelo,<\/p>\n
You looked lovely today in your pink pinstripe polo shirt that you wear with the collar flipped up. It\u2019s quite jaunty. I hope I am not being too forward in saying that.<\/p>\n
Best,<\/p>\n
Maya<\/p>\n
Dear Diary,<\/p>\n
I wrote a short post card to Angelo today. He looked very fetching as always. He has the eyelashes of a cherub, which are only outshone by his honey brown irises. I almost waved to him, but when he looked I pretended to bat away a passing gnat. Love is imminent.<\/p>\n
Best,<\/p>\n
Maya<\/p>\n
Dear Diary,<\/p>\n
Bad news. It turns out that our yearly Promenade is drawing nigh at South Fork School of Higher Learning and there is quite the competition for Angelo\u2019s arm. I must \u201cup my game\u201d as Lisa so bluntly put it. She insists that all the Jane Austen novels I had been reading before my fall from the top of the pyramid has affected my personality in some fashion. She told me that I should stop wearing lace collars and petticoats at the very least. I don\u2019t want Angelo to view me as some sort of strumpet, but I shall consider her advice.<\/p>\n
Best,<\/p>\n
Maya<\/p>\n
Dear Angelo,<\/p>\n
I would be honored if you would agree to be my escort to the \u201c80\u2019s Night of Lovin\u2019\u201d promenade in a fortnight\u2019s time. I do hope that you agree. Just send word with your messenger post haste. I will be eagerly anticipating your reply.<\/p>\n
Best,<\/p>\n
Maya<\/p>\n
Dear Diary,<\/p>\n
I wrote to Angelo again, this time in earnest. I sent my letter to him via Kathy. She advised that I did not send it to him via carrier pigeon as I had earlier intended. She also advised that I did not put my family seal on it. I did, however. A lady must keep up appearances after all.<\/p>\n
Best,<\/p>\n
Maya<\/p>\n
Dear Diary,<\/p>\n
I did not receive word yet from Angelo\u2019s messengers. I worry that my letter was lost on its passage. Kathy assures me it was not. Today, she advised me to use lip rouge to make my lips appear \u201cpouty\u201d and \u201ckissable.\u201d I looked like a woman of the night. I did get extra corn chowder from the indentured cafeteria servant today, however. Perhaps I am missing out on something.<\/p>\n
Best,<\/p>\n
Maya<\/p>\n
Dear Diary,<\/p>\n
I still have not heard from Angelo. Lisa suggests I try to \u201ctext\u201d him. I doubt the reliability of this technology. She also suggested that I try wearing denim pants. Granted, they are easier to maneuver through the hallways than petticoats, but I feel very masculine in them.<\/p>\n
Best,<\/p>\n
Maya<\/p>\n
Dear Maya,<\/p>\n
What the fuck is wrong with you?<\/p>\n
Angelo<\/p>\n
Dear Diary,<\/p>\n
I am shocked and appalled at Angelo\u2019s response to my query. It was vulgar, it was perverse, and it was very late. I do not even desire to go to the Promenade with him. I shall find another suitor — one with more gentlemanly graces. Today Trish loaned me her form-fitting sweater to wear with my new denim pants. Lisa also insisted I wear the lip rouge. Michael Donaldson said that he \u201cwould tap that.\u201d Lisa explained that this meant I looked quite fetching.<\/p>\n
Best,<\/p>\n
Maya<\/p>\n
Dear Angelo,<\/p>\n
I feel as if your obscene response to my query was vastly unwarranted. I would normally not even deign that sort of smut with a reply; however, I want you to know that you cannot be allowed to write things of that ilk to a lady without harsh penalty. Therefore, Scott VanSnyder will be obliged to fight a duel with you at daybreak to defend my honor. You may use either revolvers or rapiers. Choose wisely and be prepared for tomorrow.<\/p>\n
Best,<\/p>\n
Maya<\/p>\n
Dear Diary,<\/p>\n
Lisa refused to let me challenge Angelo to a duel with Scott VanSnyder. She aptly pointed out that Scott had not agreed to fight to the death. She also mentioned that \u201csomeone would die,\u201d and it would most likely result in my expulsion from this institution. I do not wish that. Lisa also suggested that I stop \u201cbeing so damn weird\u201d and \u201cstart talking like everybody else.\u201d Word. Went to see Dr. Fitzsimmons again — he and my mother spoke for some time alone. She then took me to Dr. Shu for \u201cacupuncture.\u201d It is a Chinese therapy I do not very much enjoy.<\/p>\n
Best,<\/p>\n
Maya<\/p>\n
Dear Diary,<\/p>\n
Promenade — \u201cprom\u201d is less than a fortnight — -two weeks away. I still am \u201ca dateless loser.\u201d I do not know what to do. Kathy was kind enough to offer the companionship of her younger brother Ted. Ted is a \u201cnice kid,\u201d but he is only 12 years of age. I would be a laughingstock. I believe I am getting better with my speaking abilities. People don\u2019t look at me with as much confusion as of late.<\/p>\n
Best,<\/p>\n
Maya<\/p>\n
Dear Diary,<\/p>\n
Only five days until the prom. I\u2019m beginning to give up hope. I did wear some new clothes today that I got at the shopping mall. I noticed Angelo staring at me in study hall again. I looked away. I\u2019m glad I never challenged him to a duel, even though he is a \u201cjackass\u201d as Lisa would say.<\/p>\n
Best,<\/p>\n
Maya<\/p>\n
Hey Maya Baby<\/p>\n
\u201cWat up? Are we still down for the prom? My date got mono and you\u2019re damn fine now — it\u2019s hard to believe you were acting like such a dork after you fell on your head. Hit me up with your digits.\u201d<\/p>\n
Peace,<\/p>\n
Angelo<\/p>\n
Dear Diary,<\/p>\n
Today I got a note from Angelo asking me to attend the prom as his date. I do not think I will. He is a jerk. I would rather not attend prom at all than appear on the arm of such a Neanderthal. He is pretty though. Quite pretty. His dark hair curls just above his pink earlobes in the most becoming manner. Dr. Fitzsimmons gave me a prescription today. He claims it will help me. I don\u2019t know about him.<\/p>\n
Best,<\/p>\n
Maya<\/p>\n
Yo Maya,<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy the silence? You goin\u2019 with me to prom or wat? Kimmie\u2019s got her sister\u2019s I.D. We\u2019re gonna do this shit up right.\u201d<\/p>\n
Peace,<\/p>\n
Angelo<\/p>\n
Dear Diary,<\/p>\n
Today I received another note from Angelo. I don\u2019t know what to say. I have the opportunity to attend prom with the socialites of the school. It would really be quite the evening. It\u2019d be \u201cpretty sweet\u201d as Lisa told me. I am a little concerned about Angelo\u2019s intentions, however. I worry he will become intoxicated with spirits and try to ravish me — I mean \u201cget drunk and try to get some\u201d as Lisa says. I have much to consider.<\/p>\n
Best,<\/p>\n
Maya<\/p>\n
Dear Diary,<\/p>\n
I decided not to accept Angelo\u2019s offer to escort me to the prom. Even though it was my one chance to go to the prom with someone that is a member of an elite social group. Lisa told me that I used to be part of this group before my alleged \u201cfall\u201d from the pyramid. I don\u2019t know about that, but then again, I don\u2019t remember much. Instead I asked Wally Masterson to take me to the Prom. He was very sweet to me today when he helped me with my homework. English seems to be getting harder and harder. I think it\u2019s these pills or something. Lisa says that going with Wally will ruin my reputation even more, but he is much nicer than Angelo. Besides, I invested heavily in taffeta.<\/p>\n
Best,<\/p>\n
Maya<\/p>\n
Dear Diary,<\/p>\n
Whoa. So, I went to bed last night and when I woke up today I had a killer headache. I feel like I had a huge-ass hangover, but mom told me I went to bed at 8 p.m. like I had been every night! I think the pills Dr. Fitzsimmons gave me finally kicked all the way in. I can\u2019t believe that I was actually going to go to Prom with the Wallster. He is such a tool. I\u2019m totally going with Angelo now. Coach says I can cheer with the squad again now that I\u2019m \u201cnormal.\u201d<\/p>\n
Luvs,<\/p>\n
Maya<\/p>\n
Dear Diary,<\/p>\n
Last night was Prom and it kinda sucked. It started out great. My dress was killer. Angelo looked hot in his tux. Everybody was watching us the whole night, which was great — until Angelo, and Jessica started making out in the corner! I guess she didn\u2019t let mono keep her away from Prom \u2018cuz she showed up with Keegan. I hope that Angelo gets mono. He deserves it. I was so humiliated! Wallster was there though with some of his friends. He said that he wasn\u2019t mad about me going with Angelo, which was cool of him. He\u2019s actually kinda funny and kinda adorable when he\u2019s wearing long-enough pants. Turns out he actually likes Jane Austen. I think I\u2019m going to re-read Pride and Prejudice<\/em>.<\/p>\n Luvs,<\/p>\n Maya<\/p>\n LEANNE GREGG<\/strong>‘s most recent work has been published in Bartleby Snopes<\/em>, Used Furniture Review<\/em>, Linguistic Erosion<\/em>, and Eskimo Pie<\/em>. When she’s not working as fiction editor of Literary Orphans<\/em>, you can find her training her two cats to do her chores.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Leanne Gregg Dear Angelo, You looked lovely today in your pink pinstripe polo shirt that you wear with the collar flipped up. It\u2019s quite jaunty. I hope I am not being too forward in saying that. Best, Maya Dear Diary, … Continue reading