by Kenyon Ledford
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\nFilo dipped the saucer toward Earth’s atmosphere. \u00a0His partner in the expedition, Cymor, leaned back and patted his shiny ray gun. \u00a0Filo noticed and shook his head.<\/p>\n
\u201cDon’t be so eager, Cymor.\u201d<\/p>\n
Cymor, short and handsome, with the head of a praying mantis and the eyes of an atomic goat, sneered.<\/p>\n
\u201cDon’t be so timid, Filo. \u00a0I can’t wait to test this on a real Earthling.\u201d<\/p>\n
Mild Filo, with his round head and wise expression, processed Cymor’s response and noted the lack of fear \u2013\u00a0 or was it lack of thought?\u00a0 \u00a0He tilted the saucer back up.<\/p>\n
\u201cThis is a fact-finding mission, not a colonization run. \u00a0Beings like you are the reason Earthlings hate us. \u00a0You perpetuate\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt isn’t a colonization run yet<\/em>,\u00a0 Filo. \u00a0But if there’s any trouble…\u201d He stroked the short barrel of his weapon and purred.<\/p>\n Filo glanced sideways at his partner.\u00a0 He had pleaded, desperately, for any creature other than Cymor to accompany him on this mission. \u00a0Who had they given him? \u00a0Cymor. \u00a0What he wouldn’t give to be rid of this horrid being once and for all.<\/p>\n \u201cYou appear nervous, Filo.\u201d<\/p>\n Cymor turned to Filo.\u00a0 He couldn\u2019t help feeling unnerved by those atomic eyes.<\/p>\n \u201cPerhaps,\u201d Cymor continued, \u201cyou would have been happier to have a different partner; say one that lacked courage the way you do. \u00a0Or maybe you wished you could stay behind with the Queglies, sucking on orchtar.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI’ve told you not to speak to me in that manner,\u201d Filo said. \u00a0Then, with more power than he should have used, he wrenched the saucer back toward the Earth’s atmosphere again. \u00a0The space regulators hadn’t time to shut off and the saucer lurched sideways, throwing Cymor to the side.\u00a0 Filo noted it with pleasure, despite losing control of the saucer. \u00a0It waffled and dipped. \u00a0Filo had lost the chance to shoot into the atmospheric stream and now they sputtered toward earth at the mercy of its inner-space laws.<\/p>\n \u201cYou navigate like a Quegly!\u201d Cymor bleated at Filo.<\/p>\n Filo toggled switches, trying to maintain control of the ship with one hand on the wheel.<\/p>\n \u201cMaybe you would like to take control away from me, Little Brain<\/em>?\u201d<\/p>\n Cymor seethed at the hated nick-name. \u00a0His eyes flared but he did nothing. \u00a0An act of mutiny would be the final disciplinary write-up in his budding career.<\/p>\n The saucer stopped spinning and dropped like a Frisbee tossed off the moon upside down. \u00a0It gained speed and the sides froze.\u00a0 Filo and Cymor’s inner systems shut down. \u00a0The Friction Engine over-heated and shattered the ice build-up around the saucer. \u00a0With a high-pitched scream the vessel tore through the Earth\u2019s troposphere and crashed into a bed of pine needles. \u201cNow, ‘Lijah, you know I didn’t mean nothing, I was just saying \u2013\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou was just saying I can’t shoot,\u201d Elijah hissed.<\/p>\n Billy’s gaze moved from Elijah’s eyes to the dead Fish and Game warden sprawled on his back in the snow. \u00a0The man’s dark green jacket was black with the blood that seeped into the snow around him. \u00a0Like a dark cherry snow cone, Billy thought. \u00a0The warden’s mud-caked 4×4 still idled on the trail by a pine tree, snowflakes dancing in the headlights.<\/p>\n \u201cYou saying I can’t shoot is like saying I ain’t a man.\u201d<\/p>\n Billy’s eyes swept the forest and he lowered his voice.<\/p>\n \u201cNow, ‘Lije, you’re just over-reacting. \u00a0I \u2013\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOnly women overreact. \u00a0You calling me a woman now?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cDang it, Elijah, let’s stop all this nonsense and figure out what to do.\u201d\u00a0 He waved his gun barrel toward the warden. \u00a0\u201cI mean, you know he’s probably got a partner somewhere out here.\u201d<\/p>\n Elijah patted his rifle. \u00a0\u201cYeah, well this is my partner.\u00a0 Now stop being such a chicken\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n A piercing whistle and a flash of bright, white light on the horizon startled the two men. \u00a0Elijah clutched Billy’s arm. \u00a0The two of them stared at the night, big-eyed and open mouthed \u2013 like cavemen hearing thunder for the first time. \u00a0The ground trembled, then stopped. \u00a0Darkness returned to the night and snow began falling again. \u00a0The only sound came from Billy and Elijah, who were breathing in little gasps. \u00a0They didn’t notice they were holding each other.<\/p>\n Billy pointed to a spot in the woods. \u00a0Elijah followed with his eyes. \u00a0A green glow shimmered in the distance through the trees.<\/p>\n \u201cLet’s go check it out,\u201d Elijah said.<\/p>\n \u201cNo!\u201d Billy answered.<\/p>\n Elijah\u2019s fingers dug into Billy’s arm again.<\/p>\n \u201cCome on, don’t be yellow.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWell, I am,\u201d Billy said.\u00a0 \u201cYou always calling me chicken this and chicken that…\u00a0 Well, you’re right. \u00a0You<\/em> go check it out.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI ain’t going over there by myself, you think I’m crazy?\u201d \u00a0Then Elijah smiled. \u00a0\u201cOkay. \u00a0I’ll go check it out. \u00a0You stay here with him<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n He nodded toward the body accumulating snow flakes.<\/p>\n Billy looked at the warden.\u00a0 Unseeing eyes staring up at the falling snow. \u00a0Mouth\u00a0 open, the tongue even catching a few snowflakes.<\/p>\n Without a word Billy\u2019s feet began crunching twigs and snow, moving toward the disturbance. \u00a0Elijah followed. \u201cFlying saucer,\u201d Elijah said.<\/p>\n Billy absently stroked the stock of his rifle. \u00a0\u201cLooks like.\u201d<\/p>\n The saucer lay in the clearing below a ridge of saplings. \u00a0It was the color of a bullet, with a large strip of darkened windows around the sides. \u00a0A red light blinked on and off from the half sticking out from the needles.\u00a0 Elijah’s knuckles were turning white around his rifle.<\/p>\n From underneath the saucer legs unfolded.\u00a0 It rose off the ground without so little as a squeak. \u00a0Pine needles slid from it with a soft hiss. \u00a0It was elegant and brilliant, and the moonlight gave it a showroom appearance. \u00a0The saucer looked like a sleek, silver tarantula awaiting breakfast. \u00a0A ramp dropped through the bottom and flopped onto the snow and needles.<\/p>\n Elijah raised his rifle. \u00a0A diminutive figure with a round head walked unsteadily down the stairs, followed by another smaller creature with eyes like smoldering coals. \u00a0Elijah instinctively moved his barrel in the direction of the second Martian… or whatever it was.<\/p>\n \u201cFor crying out loud, don’t shoot,\u201d Billy said.<\/p>\n \u201cShut up, I’m just being ready. \u00a0Like you ought to be.\u201d<\/p>\n After a moment, Billy raised his own rifle halfway.<\/p>\n The men watched the two figures walk out onto the snow. \u00a0Elijah softly swore.<\/p>\n \u201cMartians. \u00a0Just like in the pictures.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThey’re armed,\u201d Billy said.<\/p>\n \u201cYeah? So are \u2013\u201d \u00a0Elijah suddenly burst out laughing. \u00a0\u201cLook at their weapons!\u201d<\/p>\n Filo was startled by the Earthling’s laughter, but he had the presence to turn to\u00a0 Cymor.<\/p>\n \u201cSteady, Cy.\u201d<\/p>\n Filo raised his weapon in a lazy, uninterested manner. \u00a0It was a long blade, glowing green. \u00a0Cymor pointed his weapon at the Earthling who had laughed. \u00a0It was white plastic with red flames painted on the large, round barrel. \u00a0A light, transparent green plastic muzzle was on the end.\u00a0 Across the side was painted Zap Master!<\/em><\/p>\n The Earthlings caught sight of it and laughed.<\/p>\n Filo spoke.\u00a0 \u201cGreetings, Earthlings. \u00a0Please step forward and give us your weapons.\u201d<\/p>\n Billy grinned. \u00a0\u201cOr what?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYeah,\u201d Elijah added.\u00a0 \u201cWhat planet are you from, Wal Mart? \u00a0What are you going to do? \u00a0Cut us in half with your Star Wars lightsaber?\u201d<\/p>\n Billy added, \u201cOr shoot us with your plastic ray gun?\u201d<\/p>\n At this, Cymor inspected his weapon closely.<\/p>\n \u201cMartians,\u201d Elijah chuckled, \u201cand they’ve got toy guns!\u201d<\/p>\n Filo lowered his weapon and said, \u201cIncorrect. \u00a0We come from Planet Whammo. \u00a0Now \u2013\u201d<\/p>\n Billy and Elijah burst out laughing.<\/p>\n \u201cWhammo<\/em>! \u00a0Please,\u201d Elijah cackled. \u00a0\u201cNo more!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cEnough mocking!\u201d cried Cymor. \u00a0He raised his ray gun.<\/p>\n Elijah’s laughter became a menacing chuckle.<\/p>\n \u201cWant to see a real weapon, spaceman?\u201d \u00a0He aimed his Browning high powered rifle at Filo.<\/p>\n \u201cDie, Earth Creature!\u201d bellowed Cymor. \u00a0He pointed his gun at Elijah and, with a victorious smirk, squeezed the trigger.<\/p>\n All sound in the night froze except for Cymor’s Zap Master!<\/em> The green muzzle on the barrel lit up, making a whirring noise. \u00a0The body of the blaster glowed red. \u00a0The muzzle spun around, and loud sounds of crackling electricity and high-pitched squeaks emanated from inside it.<\/p>\n Elijah just stood there shaking his head.<\/p>\n Cymor watched the two Earthlings grinning at him and his weapon. \u00a0\u00a0He looked closely at the barrel, then at the laughing men, then back at his weapon. \u00a0He cocked his head and furrowed his slick eyebrows,\u00a0 then pointed the weapon at Filo and pulled the trigger. \u00a0With a flash of radiation and the sound of an exploding gas truck, Filo became a sizzling lump.<\/p>\n Elijah and Billy sobered immediately.<\/p>\n \u201cHoly \u2013\u201d Billy began.<\/p>\n Cymor took aim again at Elijah.<\/p>\n \u201cShoot him, ‘Lije!\u201d Billy said.<\/p>\n With a crooked grin, Elijah brought up the barrel of his rifle and fired at Cymor. \u00a0The rifle kicked, but just a vague pop<\/em> sounded.<\/p>\n Cymor laughed and pointed at Elijah.<\/p>\n \u201cWhere did you get that, Earthling?\u201d he roared.\u00a0 \u201cThe Museum of Nothingness?\u201d<\/p>\n Elijah looked with a puzzled expression at his rifle.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat in the… ?\u201d<\/p>\n He tilted the gun, inadvertently pointing it at Billy, and pulled the trigger. \u00a0With a bang, a slug tore into Billy’s chest, knocking him backward.\u00a0 He lay sprawled in the snow, staring at the sky with a confused look on his dead face.<\/p>\n Cymor looked at Filo’s remains. \u00a0Elijah glanced down at Billy.\u00a0 Then, Elijah and Cymor cried out in unison: \u00a0\u201cYou killed my best friend!\u201d<\/p>\n Cymor fired again at Elijah to no effect. \u00a0He kept the trigger depressed as a steady sound of zapping and whirring continued.\u00a0 Bright, colorful lights flashed, dancing brilliantly on the white snow beneath him.<\/p>\n Elijah gritted his teeth and answered by jacking round after round at Cymor. \u00a0The two stood face to face firing until Elijah’s\u00a0 rifle was empty.\u00a0 Cymor’s weapon ran down with a slow whine and lazy zaaap<\/em>. \u00a0The Earth creature, breathing hard, face flushed, stared at the space creature, who just stared back. \u00a0Sirens sounded nearby.<\/p>\n Elijah’s eyes searched the forest. \u00a0He saw headlights winding their way through the night.<\/p>\n \u201cSay, uh, that thing still fly?\u201d he asked Cymor.<\/p>\n \u201cOf course, friend<\/em>. \u00a0Step inside.\u201d<\/p>\n Elijah quickly walked to the ramp and climbed into the ship, followed by Cymor. \u00a0Elijah watched the blue and red lights of the approaching police cars through the darkened window. \u00a0In minutes they would stumble upon the scene. \u00a0He smiled.<\/p>\n \u201cSee you later, suckers.\u201d<\/p>\n Cymor caressed the control panel with his long, long fingers. \u00a0He stroked the navigation wheel. \u00a0He couldn\u2019t suppress a smirk.\u00a0 Not only would his disciplinary record be wiped clean, he was looking at a promotion. \u00a0They had been ambushed by Earthlings who had killed brave Filo, and he, Cymor, killed one and took Filo’s murderer prisoner.<\/p>\n Cymor hit the engine ignition switch, but nothing happened.<\/p>\n Elijah’s smile froze.\u00a0 \u201cEverything okay, buddy?\u201d<\/p>\n Outside the ship an amplified voice sounded.<\/p>\n \u201cYou’re surrounded. \u00a0Come out with your hands up and we won’t fire.\u201d<\/p>\n Cymor tried the ignition switch again and the saucer roared to life. \u00a0He smiled a delicious smile at Elijah.<\/p>\n \u201cYes, buddy. \u00a0Everything is okay.\u201d<\/p>\n The saucer rose, teetered, then rocketed into the sky. by Kenyon Ledford Filo dipped the saucer toward Earth’s atmosphere. \u00a0His partner in the expedition, Cymor, leaned back and patted his shiny ray gun. \u00a0Filo noticed and shook his head. \u201cDon’t be so eager, Cymor.\u201d Cymor, short and handsome, with … Continue reading
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\nElijah Pitts turned his snaky, hooch-soaked eyes toward Billy Rae and smiled. \u00a0Billy liked the smile even less than the fight in Elijah’s eyes. \u00a0Billy’s soft cheeks were rosy from the cold and his friendly eyes watery from bootlegged whiskey. \u00a0He wiped moisture from his sandy mustache and let his cradled rifle barrel dangle toward the snow.<\/p>\n
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\nThe shimmering green had faded. \u00a0Elijah and Billy paused by a boulder and pondered what they were looking at.\u00a0 About fifty yards away, framed between two stout, towering pines, a fantastic disc stuck out of a pile of pine needles.<\/p>\n
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\nKENYON LEDFORD<\/strong> tripped out for Mars in the fourth grade, but the cardboard box space ship was not so very strong. He crashed back to Earth and ruptured his ego. Now he spends his days pawing, limp-wristed, at the sky. Visit him online at www.writingeverton.com<\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"